how to heal your emotional triggers

Emotional triggers are sensitive spots deep inside you that can be activated by another person’s behaviour. Everyone has them.

When triggered, you may either shut down or go away, keeping the frustration inside or lash it out in a way that you may regret it later. Both responses can be very exhausting.

To heal your triggers, it is important to understand the root causes of your reactions. Your brain is working hard to protect you and your reaction is a form of self-protection. It is not possible to let go of the protection as long as the „threat“ is there. So in order to move past these emotional reactions, you need to addresse the underlying fears triggering them.

The common fears that often underly emotional triggers include a fear of not being valued, accepted, or good enough as well as a fear of rejection and loneliness. These fears are related to our basic human need for secure attachent. We all need to feel accepted, valued and supported by others. When this need is not met our brain perceives it as a threat and makes us  angry or frustrated to help us manage the threat. It is easier to be angry with someone else than to feel worthless or rejected.

It is important to recognize that your emotional triggers are not your enemy but rather a signal that your attachment needs require attention. By acknowledging and addressing these needs, you can begin to restore self-love  and emotional well-being.

Here are some steps to help you start healing your emotional triggers:

1.    Identify your top three emotional triggers that cause you the most distress. For instance, when someone criticizes your appearance, when someone doesn’t appreciate your effort, when someone laughs at your mistake etc. Write them down in a journal to gain insight into aspects of yourself that need healing.

2.    Explore the origins of those triggers. Reflect on past experiences that may have contributed to the development of these sensitive spots.

Did your mother tell you that you are too fat? Did your teacher tell you that you are not smart enough to go to the university? Did a loved one neglect you?

3.    Identify the underlying attachment needs that are not being met in triggering situations. What do you long for at those moments? Is it to feel loved, valued, supported or to feel that you can trust a loved one?

4.    Focus on one unmet need and recall instances in your life when this need was fulfilled. If you can’t remember any imagine a scenario where your need is met. Practice this feeling daily and affirm your self-worth.

5.    Consider working with a therapist or relationship coach to delve deeper into your subconscious triggers and develop a positive self-concept.

By taking those steps, you can begin the journey towards healing your emotional triggers and fostering a greater sense of self-love. Your hard work will be rewarded with increased love and happiness in your relationships.